silently wrote@
ill retake my O level math in the private sch...
ive got no other choice n thats the only way for me to get accecpted in poly....
damn u maths,cos of u i cnt get anywhere....
i even got rejected n it was not a success either after i tried to appeal...
really got to buck up n start making a different...
the private sch is not cheap tat i can take it for granted....
n i dun want my parents to think im wasting their money....
so i got to stop them frm having that kind of thinking....
aniwaes i dun think its the end of my academic field since i didnt get through...
i guess its the beginning...
i got to put my all to get through and get what i want...esp the nursing course....
ill do anitink to get what i want...even if i have to change my lifestyles...
i mean the way im dealing wif my time n balancing it....
and even my social activities....
its time to sacrifice...
just cnt seem to understand why i cnt get what i want...
i mean achieving what i want for my life to be better...
getting to do what im interested in...
like other peeps....
they got through n did well....
i wanna be like them....
im never happy...
maybe ill have to wait patiently and hopefully the day will come....
when all my hopes and wishes is granted....
i really hope my efforts for this year will pay off....
cos i really want to make a different....
i want to change....
change for the better....
i dun noe if my dad still support me or even have confident in me....
last year he gave me his full support n he is even confident tat i cn do well...
well look what happen now...
ive disappoint him...
real bad.....
i could still remember the words that he said to mr mohd during meet the parents...
he said "i will support her in whateva she do cos i only care about her n she is my hope...abt the two of her brothers, i dun care abt them...she is my only hope..."
during that meeting i nearly cried but i held them....
i guess all his hopes for me kinda shattered....
now the only thing i can do is to make him like before,the time when he supported me....
i want him to have tat hope and confident in me.....
ill do my best to never disappoint him again....
everything will start to change now....
11:24 PM